Top 5 lessons you have learned the hard way

- No it wasn't the bike fault, the f'ing road surface, the old granny staring at you, the diesel fumes from a nearby garage, your trousers fault for being uncomfy, your tyres fault, the mechanics fault.... IT WAS YOUR FAULT! In other word the 1st bit of learning anything is admitting what you did (to yourself 1st!:augie)...

- "Ride your own ride!"

- If you are scraping everything and feeling cool as.... the next step is falling off and making a twat of yourself:augie

- There is always someone better than you......

- "It's the fear of dying that keeps me alive" Ogri cartoon, 1980's? Bit like the fear of Artics and Tractors and head on's....
 
Ride like a twat if you're new to biking.*

If you're still alive after 5 years, you'll have found out all about the dodgey things to do on motorbikes.*

Never listen to a MBw owner who is old and has a beard and smokes a pipe and wears slippers and is an IAM motorcyclist

Never smoke a pipe

Never wear slippers

Try drink driving at least once*:beerjug:

* Optional
 
Assume everyone on the road is trying to kill you

Old people think that everyone knows they will U turn without signalling outside the Post Office every 2nd thursday because they have done it for the last 25 years

The guy who starts reversing out of his driveway then stops hasnt actually seen you and will just keep on coming

Pigeons really really feckin hurt at 110 mph even when wearing an Arai
 
Living life likes its your last day on earth is an admirable mantra except in the case of biking, when it becomes a prophecy of your immediate future...

Go offroad on something moderately unsuitable. Like a GS.

You cant look far enough ahead.

Fast = Fun, however, fast is relative. Twisties on something moderately unsuitable, like a knobblie shod GS, is more fun than on an uber-sports-nutter-b'stard bike on thinly disguised racing slicks. Mostly.

If you limit your biking experience by citing, weather, distance, traffic etc, as reasons not to ride, you're probably missing the point. Or a power-ranger.

Here endeth....etc :cool
 
Never assume anything, it will make an ASS out of U and ME.

Brian
 
Top 5 lessons learnt the hard way:

1. Don't bottle an overtake half way through:eek:
2. Don't try to wheel a bike around that's in gear :rolleyes:
3. Make sure that sidestand is all the way down :(
4. If it's "not too cold" when you start, it's hypothermia when you finish :surrender
5. Never start an "OIL" thread :toungincheek

They may have been harsh lessons, but I love the school where you get them!
 
Whilst being followed by a police car in built up traffic for a couple of miles, don't try to put into practice 'reduced braking distance perception', that you learnt on your advanced riding course, when you notice that the amber lights are turning red at a pelican crossing (due to those awful multiple horizontal sunlight shades over the traffic lights)...

and then try and blame it on the nice officer for making you feel nervous, as he picks you up off the tarmac..:comfort

Oh how we larfed... :blush

I thank you, Sue :D

I felt so much better when he explained I was riding very compitantly up to that point... :D
 
Don't let the feckers grind you down

Never comment on a women's hairstyle

Don't try and talk to a teenager before 10am

Remember your age
 
After spending the last few years visiting a friend in the stanmore spinal unit having a cage installed and then later removed from his spine my top tip.

1 Never go out without a top notch back protector.

After chatting to his surgeon its suprising how many motorcylists and horse riders dont ware spinal protection.
Most broken bones can be repaired over time but the spine is seldom repairable back to a full active life.

2 Use chinese plastic takeaway trays when dismantling parts of the bike to keep fasteners from being mixed up the lids stop the lot being knocked around the floor.

3 Always check after work on the bike and it wont start that its not in gear or the kill switch is off:blast

4 Dont critisize your daughters choice of boyfriend.

5 Dont bye a playstation etc if you want to get to bed before midnight.
 
Drink loads of water when riding on a hot day. Don't say to yourself 'I'll wait as having a pee wearing bike kit is a pain'.

300 miles a day is always fun from start to finish. 600 rarely is.

Start too hot on a winter's day. You'll be cool enough in a minute.

Never ride whan you're really cold. Get off and stomp around a bit. Especially if you get stuck in cloud in the mountains.

If someone yells you your bike/kit/extras are uncool - f**k 'em.
 
A few others...

- FSH often doesn't mean anything of consequence....

- "Backorder" is often an excuse for "forgot" or similar bullshit....

- "That's the best finance rate/price/PX I can do" rarely is the best...:augie

- Talking shite to your mates about bikes is not "riding experience"...

- Deduct at least 10% of "tall story" speeds except kawasakis which is at least 20%:D

PS When Harley and Ducati riders talk about "reliability" it is purely relative:augie

PPS NEVER EVER believe "cancelled order" (you lucky thing)!!
 
Top 5 lessons you have learned the hard way

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1) There is absolutely no substitute for experience - You can never spend too much time in the saddle learning and re-learning how to ride. Sometimes I scare myself at how bad my riding feels after a long break from riding.

2) Always trust your instincts - If something doesn't feel quite right eg unsure about an overtake, don't do it. I've lost count of the number of times I've held back when the road appeared clear, only to find a car suddenly emerge from a hidden junction/blind crest/oncoming truck and think "thank god for that I could have been dead". A good mantra is "Whenever there is doubt, there is no doubt" eg if not 110% sure, don't attempt it.

3) Assume nothing, expect the unexpected - Just because a vehicle is indicating doesn't mean it will make a turn (and vice-versa). I managed to turn a potential sideswipe into a bar-end versus wing mirror thanks to being on the ball and assuming nothing. I also got taken out at the same roundabout by an Audi driving moron of a woman who didn't see me alongside her. I saw her but couldn't avoid her. Lesson learnt the hard way.

4) Be VERY wary of housewives with cars full of kids when navigating a roundabout. They will ignore your right of way and pull onto the roundabout in front of you, then blank you because they realise they are in the wrong. If I had a quid for the number of times its happened I could stand a round in my local. Not had to do that the hard way but came too close more than once too often (the accident, not standing the round).:D

5) All elderly drivers should terrify you with instant fear. They passed their driving tests a long time ago when roads were less congested, their reactions may well have dulled over the years, as has their vision and hazard perception. Give them a respectful wide berth. A good friend has a mechanical knee joint thanks to an elderly gent who didn't see him on his Bonneville on a Sunday ride.
 
dont take the queens shilling cos it seemed like a good idea at the time
dont let the management of the above perswade you should take up amateur boxing cos you're a big lad:tears
dont drink rough cider the after effects are awfull
never pick a fight with anyone who looks like they can run faster than you
never try to get the last word in a row with the femail of the species
these words of wisdom were learned the hard way in the university of life:rob
hard knocks n dirty socks
 


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