Top 5 lessons you have learned the hard way

Slow in, Fast out.

Never skimp on tyres. ditto brake pads.

If you look stupid, but you're warm, you're not stupid.

Just because they're crazy doesn't mean it won't be fun for a while.

Follow your dreams.


Oh and as an extra, a quote from Sheck Exley: Whatever works, works.
 
Quote "If you look stupid, but you're warm, you're not stupid"

:D:D

- Summer biking may possibly be a fashion statement but winter biking is purely survival of the fittest (and warmest):D:D

H/G's, Muffs and Gauchos are purely practical and once used, never forgotten:D:thumb
 
After a good night out on scrumpy, NEVER trust a fart :augie

Never pass a toilet without using it :rob

Never waste an erection :eek:
 
yes, have learned the disc lock already, now have a yellow lanyard to remind me.

great advice, keep it coming.



A good alternative to a lanyard is a piece of plastic tubing 2 or 3 mm wide. (Home brew kit, brake bleeding kit ...something like that). Keep it pushed over your disc lock key. Go to use disc lock, remove tubeing and immediately put it over ignition key, return to bike, key won't go in ignition 'cos of tubing...remove disc lock and put tubing on disc lock key ...... etc etc etc.. Tubing lives it's life on one or t'other key ... :thumb
 
1/ The ability to corner quicker than your mates, does not make you a good rider. (this is normally assumed to be good/clever by lots of people who should know better :augie) (usually the ones with little God given talent)
2/ No matter how long you've been at it, your never out of the woods in this game.

Best regards Stretch :)
 
Never ever be first away at the traffic light grand prix - one day they'll be something jumping the lights coming across you.

Don't bother with Hi-Vis. If someone doesn't look it's pointless, plus don't depend on being seen.

Before overtaking look in a car drivers wing mirror to see if he is looking in it for you. If he/she isn't, say to yourself "look in your mirror you bastard" you'd be surprised how often they will then look :D

Remember, dog leads can be anything up to 25 foot long :D

There is no need to get wet and cold while riding a bike in this day and age. If you do, take a long look in the mirror at yourself - You twat.
 
Another which I always keep in mind...

If a car driver's wearing a hat, no matter if it's an old doder in a Trilby/flat cap or a chav with a baseball hat/hoody, even if it's on the parcel shelf...take extra care:thumb
 
Never ever be first away at the traffic light grand prix - one day they'll be something jumping the lights coming across you.

Don't bother with Hi-Vis. If someone doesn't look it's pointless, plus don't depend on being seen.

Before overtaking look in a car drivers wing mirror to see if he is looking in it for you. If he/she isn't, say to yourself "look in your mirror you bastard" you'd be surprised how often they will then look :D

Remember, dog leads can be anything up to 25 foot long :D

There is no need to get wet and cold while riding a bike in this day and age. If you do, take a long look in the mirror at yourself - You twat.

Re no 1... Was at lights Euston Rd to Marylbone Rd many years ago and was slow away :)eek:) from lights... Another courier bloke in front got the jump and i saw him get missed by a twat accellerating up TottenhamCRd. Was no more than a blue Rizla away and he stopped by side of the road and I stopped... the bloke was white as a sheet.... After that "Check both ways before proceeding" etc:augie

Re no 2...:thumb2

:D
 
'Baby on Board' or any similar sticker/sign in the rear window of a car is of course referring to the 'being' behind the wheel......:rob
 
Remember the 'First 5 minutes, Last 5 Minutes' rule... 'cos it's those minutes you are most likey to kill you.

In the first 5 minutes of a journey you might well not have switched on yet, you're riding on auto-pilot and not really thinking yet. (include any setting away from stops at services etc in this one too!).

In the last 5 minutes you have switched off, the journey is mentally at an end and the kettle is on/pint is poured...

My last student totalled a bike, plus the oncoming car that turned right in front of him, pushing it into another car. When he came round in the ambulance he said, 'can't believe it, just like you said, last 5 minutes, I was already back at the base, I never saw her before I hit her.'

Not his fault, but he knew he should have seen the event about to happen. amazingly uninjured except for stunning bruising; he will never ever get a better lesson in keeping alert. The journey isn't over until you walk away from the bike and it hasn't fallen over because you remembered to put the stand down..!

Got it all on HD video, makes me cringe everytime I play it to new students...

So take it easy and keep it fun! :)
 
Any woman in a 4x4 with sunglasses propped on her blonde head and spawn in the back is DANGEROUS.

She will be totally focused on the spawn to the exclusion of everything else - including common sense, road courtesy or safety. All that matters is getting little Tarquin and Lucretia to prepschool before 0830.

That means she WILL ride you off the road and into a ditch, simply because you don't exist in her world. And don't expect the bitch to to stop either.
 
Remember the 'First 5 minutes, Last 5 Minutes' rule... 'cos it's those minutes you are most likey to kill you.

In the first 5 minutes of a journey you might well not have switched on yet, you're riding on auto-pilot and not really thinking yet. (include any setting away from stops at services etc in this one too!).

In the last 5 minutes you have switched off, the journey is mentally at an end and the kettle is on/pint is poured...

My last student totalled a bike, plus the oncoming car that turned right in front of him, pushing it into another car. When he came round in the ambulance he said, 'can't believe it, just like you said, last 5 minutes, I was already back at the base, I never saw her before I hit her.'

Not his fault, but he knew he should have seen the event about to happen. amazingly uninjured except for stunning bruising; he will never ever get a better lesson in keeping alert. The journey isn't over until you walk away from the bike and it hasn't fallen over because you remembered to put the stand down..!

Got it all on HD video, makes me cringe everytime I play it to new students...

So take it easy and keep it fun! :)

That's me fecked... I only go out for 10 minute rides.......... :rolleyes:
 
If in doubt....dont
lifesaver before you maneuver
parked cars - look for exhaust, person in car, door open a crack, etc
dont trust their indicators - its only an indication they might do something
dont expect indicators at roundabouts any more
bumpy roads - watch out, they may think youre flashing them to go !
mobile phone users - give a wide berth
look for the face in the mirror before an overtake
They are all idiots
 
never underestimate cold!!

As above really!!! Just because you have heated grips, it doesnt mean those thinnish but armoured gloves are gonna keep you warm. I found this out after 4 hours of riding to and from Wales today... At motorway speeds heated grips do not provide enough heat, especially when the temperature is hovering around freezing point!!!which really is no surprise!!!!
 
As above really!!! Just because you have heated grips, it doesnt mean those thinnish but armoured gloves are gonna keep you warm. I found this out after 4 hours of riding to and from Wales today... At motorway speeds heated grips do not provide enough heat, especially when the temperature is hovering around freezing point!!!which really is no surprise!!!!

Before anyone else says it.....


Muffs.
 
making mistakes is part of the learning/ growing up/ growinig old process... try not to make the same mistake twice or be killed cos that's a serious stumbling block.

Learn as much as you can then try to remember it, if your a goldfish. All you need to remember is " what a beautiful view!"...:thumb2

Stuff you've learnt only has value if you can apply it, and it gets out the shit. Rather than further in it...:blast

halfway there is neither, here or there.

Before gettting into an argument consider both sides carefully, unbeknown to you. They may have a point, you maybe a twat....:blast

Seek medical advice before it drops off...:eek:
 


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