Morocco 2018 The Report.

I pre-booked a hotel in Palencia northern Spain, it took about 2 hours to get there, so around 9pm I’m looking for a place to park near my hotel, it’s Easter Saturday and the town is jumping.
I see an underground parking just before the hotel, cross the town square head for it. I’m 3feet from the entrance when I remember that the van is almost 4mtrs high the sign says 2.85 Mtrs max.
What a bastard to reverse back up the entrance ramp and across then back into the traffic.


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So around the town I drive see my hotel and it’s got an under ground car park. Massive entrance about 8 mtrs high ! I’m in so down I drive, down and round, further down, shit it’s getting narrow, there’s no way the van will fit though the car park entrance, shit not again, this time I’m not getting out as the Easter parade has started and the street it block. So I just leave it and make a note to get up early. IMG_0472.JPGIMG_0473.JPGIMG_0474.JPG


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Van safe. Booked into hotel I takes a wonder around town, nice place, clean. Finds an area with a number of local bars, I’m a bit peckish but decide against Tapas, for reasons I will explain in a minute.
After a couple of beers I find a little bar, with only three people in it. I take a photo and say hello. Wheel falls off and I’m playing drinking games with a Spanish English teacher a nurse and an engineer, by 1:30am the Teacher is the only one who can speak English.
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REWIND: April 2017. The journey home.

Last year after a particularly difficult Morocco trip, reasons I will tell you if I see you and you ask (twice).
Bikes are loaded into the van everyone has gone home (mostly), I start my drive north to Santander, it’s a long drive and I know I have to stop over night. I decide to stop sooner rather than later so I arrive at Zafra in southern Spain, I find a fantastic hotel for only 50 Euro inc breakfast.
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Still April 2017...

I park the van check in decide to go walk about. Zafra is really nice, if you can visit you must go. Here are some picks of the town.
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Easter parade.




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Still April 2017....

After a while I find myself in a little tapas place and get talking to the owner, I have some red wine and some tapas. All is well with the world. I have more red wine and more tapas.


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I have another drink with the owner an womble off to bed. I’m fast asleep by 9:30pm.


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Still April 2017....

I am awake at 2:30am. I’m being violently sick and just about shit myself. I spend from 2:30am until 9am with my head in the sink and my arse in the bog. Sure my ring was dropping down for a drink from time to time.

I just about pull myself together, check out and leave in the van. 3 miles down the road it starts! I rush to the nearest fuel station, buy a roll of black bags jump in the back of the van and go, luckily my luggage is in the back and I find my wet wipes, this happens almost every hour. It’s not good stopping on a Spanish motorway to jump in the back of a van for a shit.
If PaulR reads this. Sorry about your boots, I cleaned them as best I could.

That’s why I decided no Tapas for me on the way down to Spain.


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Still April 2017....

I am awake at 2:30am. I’m being violently sick and just about shit myself. I spend from 2:30am until 9am with my head in the sink and my arse in the bog. Sure my ring was dropping down for a drink from time to time.

I just about pull myself together, check out and leave in the van. 3 miles down the road it starts! I rush to the nearest fuel station, buy a roll of black bags jump in the back of the van and go, luckily my luggage is in the back and I find my wet wipes, this happens almost every hour. It’s not good stopping on a Spanish motorway to jump in the back of a van for a shit.
If PaulR reads this. Sorry about your boots, I cleaned them as best I could.

That’s why I decided no Tapas for me on the way down to Spain.


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At least you didn't scar a pretty young Spanish girl for life, after she's walks in on you mid wipe in a pretrol station bog - :barf
 
I'm enjoying this. I was on the Tuesday ferry 3 days earlier from Portsmouth to Santande for a roadtrip to Spain. Still here now. RR soon.
Getting the shits is hilarious...for the reader.
Apart from that it sounds like you're having fun.
 
Me And Dirtwise Lee, been there done that, spent two days stuck in a moroccan hotel, shitting for England.Unless youve had moroccan shits, youve never had the shits.trust me.I know how you feel.
 
Wake up 7am Sunday morning, all is good. Then I remember the van is stuck half way down the hotel car park ramp. Skips breakfast straight to car park. Town is silent ! Not a sole is around (got to love Easter Sunday), takes 15-20 mins to back up and jiggle the van out for the underground, but all safe and sound. Hits the road, off to Southern Spain.


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Meantime at Gatwick airport....

Paul R (he’s not on here so I can say what I like), for weeks has been telling everyone that his plan is to get to the airport and have a “Weatherspoon’s”. He means 2 pints of Guinness and a breakfast.

For some of us northerners it means leaving the pub you are in with your mates to nip out for a quick shite. “Lads get me a pint in I won’t be long just nipping out for a Weatherspoon’s”

The reason is that most town centre pubs toilets are awful to say the least, however Weatherspoon’s keep theirs nice and clean all day long, sometimes it’s a pleasure to sit and contemplate.

Roy Chubby Brown:
“I love a good shit me! Sometimes it’s better than sex”
“For a start you don’t have to cuddle it for 20 minutes after”


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Still at Gatwick.

Paul R & Steve Brown meet up and fly together to Gibraltar, they get on well so all is set for a great adventure (don’t say holiday).

Paul D gets his flight from Manchester to Gibraltar, all three are set to arrive at around 11am, it’s a short taxi or bus ride to the hotel. I hope to get there at 3pm.


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My drive south goes well, very little traffic. I get the hotel around 4pm, the guys are there and we unload and lock the bikes. IMG_0476.JPGIMG_0480.JPGIMG_0481.JPGIMG_0482.JPG


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Hotel is fantastic value, 50 euro inc breakfast, they offer a buffet dinner for 27 euro which was really good value. They also let us park the van in their secure car park until we return for no charge.
They even agreed to open the breakfast buffet at just before 7am so we could eat before our ferry.

We had food, couple of beers then off to bed. The breakfast was top quality, we were all up and ready before 7am, we left for the ferry at 7:15, it’s less than 5 mins away ferry departed on time at 8am.
Check in:
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The ferry was clean and tidy, weather was sunny but not hot, nice clear sky’s.
The guys filling in the entry form:
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Nice morning:
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Nice ferry:
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Off the ferry, nice morning not cold at all, I’d checked the weather before we left and it didn’t look good. But this morning was dry.
Thru customs and all we need is insurance.
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