The annual Billy No Mates Tour

Right then, it’s been an eventful day and I’d like to think I made 2 people very happy.

I got nicked for speeding. Not just any old speeding ticket but the full on, you’re so far over the limit we’re taking your licence and we’ll post it back in 3 months and until then you’re not riding any further in Latvia 😲

Basically they got me bang to rights, I missed a 70kph sign and just carried on at about 100kph until I saw the cops, thought what the fuck do they want and looked at my satnav to see 43mph limit!

They immediately took my licence and passport, told me I was fucked and got me to use google translate to check their book of speeding penalties and I was due a €420 fine and an immediate 3 month ban, no negotiations allowed. I put on my best I’m very sorry, I missed the sign, can’t I just have a fine approach and they said no, I could go to a cash point, get the money and I wouldn’t be banged up until tomorrow but I was still banned.

At this point I started to get worried but set off for a cash point thinking should I just fuck off and when I got to the Hook (assuming I escaped Latvia) claim I’d lost my passport. It’s a dead cert they’d have chased me for a bigger fine when I got home so I got the cash and returned, still trying to look remorseful and grovelling a lot.

The two cops then claimed that they didn’t want to ban me but technically they had to make me ride to the cop shop, leave the bike until I could get it home by courier.

I made yet another appeal for clemency and they finally did what all good cops should do and said they’d ‘fine’ me with no receipt but I had to leave the country immediately. Too right I’ll go, it was about 10 miles to the Lithuanian border and we settled on €200 in nice new notes. I’d have paid €500 if they’d asked but they obviously thought they were cleaning me out because I claimed the ATM had a €200 limit.

Am I bothered? Not really, it cost me about half what I paid for a new radiator on the 1190 last year and I lost about 45 minutes. I’d been taking the piss out of speed limits since I left home and I carried on afterwards so I hope they spend the money wisely and snort coke off hookers tits with it the pair of twats 😀.

Apart from that it’s been an alright day, I’m in a bum hole place called Druskininkai where a double Stoli costs €1.30 and last time I had a session on that I ended up snorting it up my nose.

That sounds like a result; considering; jammy fucker; long may it continue. :D:beerjug: . What the fuck was that dark larger you was drinking; :barf.
 
Today’s update.

Well I nailed it down through Poland and after just over 500 miles I’ve ended up somewhere called Valkov which is tiny but it’s by a lake in the Tatras.

It took me 11 hours to get here because every town in Poland has road works and diversions so it was an hour after dark when I decided to let the mighty Garmin take the strain out of things.

The first hotel was derelict. Seriously, doors hanging off, windows boarded up, the whole fucking shooting match.
The second hotel had lights on upstairs but the doors were locked.
The third one was locked up but I rang the doorbell and eventually someone answered and my limited German got me a room for €20 and 4 bottles of beer at €1 each.

I then used google maps to find 2 restaurants within a mile so after a rapid shower set off for dinner. Unlucky, both were shut so my ham and cheese roll at lunchtime will have to do unless I use my axe on the furniture and spark up the Kelly. Looking on the bright side, there’s a lot of lightning getting closer and it’s just started to rain so kicking camping into touch was probably a good plan :D
 
I know some of you like the beer photos so here’s tonight’s contribution. I’m not convinced by the 10% bit on the label, I’d have said it’s more like 5% but beggars can’t be choosers.

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Here’s the reason why I was struggling to see the road with the visor down once it was dark this evening. I cleaned it before setting off this morning then twice more during the day but as dusk settles the midges get a bit suicidal.

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I know some of you like the beer photos so here’s tonight’s contribution. I’m not convinced by the 10% bit on the label, I’d have said it’s more like 5% but beggars can’t be choosers.

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Here’s the reason why I was struggling to see the road with the visor down once it was dark this evening. I cleaned it before setting off this morning then twice more during the day but as dusk settles the midges get a bit suicidal.

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Bloody awful vile beer, tried it like piss, think the real alcohol is about 4, it is a Lidl special here for the Polaks.
 
I’m 400 miles from the Hook and can’t be bothered with another night in Germany so I’ve changed my booking and I’ll be on the ferry tonight unless something unforeseen drama occurs.

Yesterday wasn’t bad, basically I bombed across the Tatras, got rained on for 2 hours continuously but it stopped, everything dried out and I had fun once I was in the Erzburg region where the roads are good and trucks are noticeably absent.

I found a nice cheap hotel where I dumped the bike under a shelter and left panniers, tent and roll bag on it because Germans don’t rob bikes 😀

That’s it, you’ll get an update from the ferry then once I’m home I’ll work out the numbers. I’m over the 3k mile mark already so that’s not bad.
 
Lovely ride report , just get up and go , loose changeable plans, updates enroute,responding to requests to set fire to things and use your stove :D I occasionally have mini non planned escapes :bounce1 Our Main bike trips are in stark contrast and planned to Swiss watch time. Enjoy both but there’s something real nice about being off on your own doing your own thing nay worries. Having said that good to hear the news re your partner. :thumby:

Thanks for finding the time to post, have a look in the Ducati section at a bike I spied on our return ferry, I know you have lots of bikes and this I’m sure will be right up your street. Have a virtual :beerjug::beer::jager on me.

Andrew
 
Lovely ride report , just get up and go , loose changeable plans, updates enroute,responding to requests to set fire to things and use your stove :D I occasionally have mini non planned escapes :bounce1 Our Main bike trips are in stark contrast and planned to Swiss watch time. Enjoy both but there’s something real nice about being off on your own doing your own thing nay worries. Having said that good to hear the news re your partner. :thumby:

Thanks for finding the time to post, have a look in the Ducati section at a bike I spied on our return ferry, I know you have lots of bikes and this I’m sure will be right up your street. Have a virtual :beerjug::beer::jager on me.

Andrew

I like the ; deal it how you feel it approach, says alot when you can alter your plans at the drop of a hat; and post on here as you often as you can. The Mrs sends her regards; and hopes all is well for the future.:beerjug: Your missing a beer photo by the way:D. Watch yersen on the way back.
 
That’ll be the one from last night? Funnily enough there’s only a glimpse of it in the photo of the main course which I took for Nutty because he likes pictures of food.

Starter. Pork cooked in a pepper sauce with melted cheese over the top. Very nice.

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Main course. There’s a sirloin steak (medium rare) under that lot on top. The ‘sauce’ was red wine, thinly sliced liver, onions and mushrooms. Again, very good but a bit rich so I probably wouldn’t order it again.

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Last photo for now is some shitty old cars on a garage roof. Funnily enough I saw one smoking it’s way through a village this morning.

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Record time for Stena today. I got to the port at 18:20 and was loaded, showered and at the bar by 19:00.

Normally I’m still waiting to board at 20:30 even when I arrive at the same time so I’m well pleased and I’ve scored a big pitcher of lager for £10.20 by using my loyalty card. They must like me
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How did you find the SD GT?

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I shouldn’t comment until it’s in the garage at home but here goes...

It wasn’t really the best choice for a camping trip because of the amount of crap I loaded on it but it’s performed very well and the GT part fits well if you take it as meaning Grand Tourer.

Basically it’s used no oil in the engine, half a reservoir of Scott oil, the chain hasn’t needed adjusting, the tyres haven’t needed pumping up, not too many bits fell off and the numbers are pretty good.

I’ve had 8 days on the bike, I’ll have done near enough 3.5k miles, 60 hours riding, it’s returned 55mpg, I’ve pulled some wheelies, upset some drivers, had my licence taken off me in Latvia but bought it back, got rained on but stayed dry and my arse is sore after spending that long on a bike that I don’t think KTM designed for the type of shit I’ve put it through.

Maybe I’m wrong but I doubt if many other GT owners have taken their bikes on trips like this on roads that ranged from brand new motorways through to dirt tracks that had me shitting myself with sweeping curves through forests taken at 120mph thrown in for good measure.

It’s been fun :D
 
A good appraisal of a cracking bike. I have similar feedback with the exception of taking camping gear, although I don't think I would have taken as much kit as you . I can't be arsed carrying all the gear and I like my comfort these days.

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I wouldn’t do the same again. If I’d planned (that’s a laugh) to do the Baltic States I wouldn’t have taken camping kit and would have used the Ventura tailback and a tankbag. The trouble is I really didn’t know where I was going and I had my mind on doing the Arctic Circle because it’s unfinished business for me so I took the camping gear and I nearly sent it home by courier from Gothenburg when I decided where I was going.

Sometimes being indecisive isn’t such a good thing but it suits me to throw them bones in the morning and go from there :hippy
 
Very glad to hear it :)

It's been fun reading about your fun :clap

Andres

Edit: With the exception of that picture of the pork thing with melted cheese on it. That just looks like a bowl of cat sick :D

The biggest laugh was today as I strapped the bike down when a bloke with multiple black rat stickers on his bike and both his and his pillions crash helmets started chatting about our trips and he said they were thinking about doing the Baltic States at some point and what was the high point of that part of the trip. Naturally I replied that getting banned and buying my licence back from bent cops topped everything so he went a bit sulky.
 
The biggest laugh was today as I strapped the bike down when a bloke with multiple black rat stickers on his bike and both his and his pillions crash helmets started chatting about our trips and he said they were thinking about doing the Baltic States at some point and what was the high point of that part of the trip. Naturally I replied that getting banned and buying my licence back from bent cops topped everything so he went a bit sulky.

You is a bad man , in the nicest possible way :D fair made me chuckle did that.
 


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