Oonyackistan – The land of the forgetful

Steptoe

What a waste.
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Oonyackistan – The land of the forgetful.

Left Londonium thursday 2pm.
No destination planned for the night. Just see where I end up at around 8ish.

Ended up camping in the kielder forest in the dark midge infested north. Along with Jamie and his woman ( who suffered a bad bout of trapped wind during the night, judging by the noise cumming ( sorry, meant coming) from the tent). And Whatton.

They ate well for tea and breakfast. The midges that is, on my pale delicate London skin.

Up and away to meet Forry, like, in a town half hour away. Can’t remember the name , as, unbeknownst to me, I was already suffereing from Oonyackistanitis memory loss.

Met whatisname, away like, had brekky , then left the loved up tubby one with his noisey bird, while me, whatisname from the far north and the bloke with sausage fingers set off for a party somewhere.

Lots of Locks, and even a few lochs on the way. And nearly as many double white lines and speed cameras - How long do I have to wait for any bad news.

Arrived at Oonyackistan stronghold at ,,,, ohh ere, I’ve forgotten.



Tents up, upwind of the open sewer arrangement that had a pipe leading into a small wooden box room ??? Wonder what that’s all about ??



Some aperitifs before the pub -Doh !



To the pub. Drink and food.

Then to the village/town/stronghold/outpost hall. For some dancing and merriment. With a capital M.







I beat the Ooyackistanis at their own game. Throwing a pound coin at the bottle of whiskey. One throw, hit the bottle and landed a couple of inches away. One nil to the cockoknees.

I enjoyed watching the sober tossers joining in with the traditional dancing. But why name a dance “Stripping the Widow”. And then not removing any items of her clothing ? .
Shep and I left the hall to lead the way back. At a briskpace we put some distance between us and the drunken pursuing pack. Then Shep had an idea. Lets hide each side of the lane, and jump out and surprise them. Seemed a good idea, Shep went one way,into the roadside bush, and I went the other, into a 6ft ditch. Oh how they were surprised.

Breakfast was brought to the campers ( other event organizers please take note), but a little to early for some after the 4.30am lights out .

The day was spent lazily, taking in the scenery and local food.




Steak sandwich £2. Tea and as many cakes you liked for a £1 - Tell you what, this did make the hogroast seem expensive.



Oonyackistan even gained a new Gala Queen


Mind you, it was close run thing.



Then the time arrived - Cheesy disco.

No words can describe the dad dancing on display. I’ll let the pictures give you a better idea.











But what you can’t take in is the singing along to the timeless classics –
“The Day The Music Died” in particular was shown no mercy. “I would Walk One Hundred Miles” came a close second.

She got her baps out for the lads




Sunday morning. Breakfast delivery, enjoyed by those that were up.

Tents down in the rain, except for smug git under his tarp.

Then awayhome. James Burton was on his bummeround tour, heading the same way as Whatton and myself . We reached Ulswater, where we stopped for the night at a pub B&B.

In the morning, we went our separate ways. I stopped off at Blackpool, because I’d never been.

Two restaurant names stick in my mind that sum up the place – Burgerdome, and Pies & Fries.


Those that were there know it was a very special occasion, of song and dance and laughing. You all made it what it was. No one came expecting to be entertained, they all joined in.
Johhny ( with the help of his glamorous assistant Tash), just lit the blue touch paper and stood back. Not to far back, or it wouldn’t of worked, but close enough for it to still be dangerous.

Thank you, King & Queen of Oonyackistan, you’ve served your country well. And over £2000 for your charidee.

Oh, I forgot ( must be the water), what ever happened to Jamie !!!!!

The End
 
Fine baps they were too :clap

92fffe4f26.jpg
 
Very good report and pics there whatdayamacallya. I've forgotten. :confused:





















Oh aye, good one Neil. :clap:clap:clap
 
Along with Jamie and his woman ( who suffered a bad bout of trapped wind during the night, judging by the noise cumming ( sorry, meant coming) from the tent). And Whatton.

Just got a text from Jamie's latest squeeze. She said thanks for the concern but there's no need to worry her tummy upset didn't last long, apparently it never does.
 


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